Today is April 20, 2018. Anjou left terra firma on this day in 2012. Six years have now passed.
Today we remember Anjou.
Death touches us all. It reminds us that our days are numbered, and we don’t know when our time will be up. The loss of a loved one reminds us of the essential things in life. Each other.
Sure, I have met death before. A stranger died in front of me. My father died. My uncles and aunties died. My grandparents all died. My school friends died. My teachers died. My clients died. My suppliers died. Daisy died. My cat died. My pet goat died. My dog died. I nearly died a dozen times and yet I am still here.
When Anjou died, it was close up, personal. Not to say my previous brushes with death weren’t personal, they were. But this was different. Anjou was the most loving and generous person I had ever met. She exuded femininity that was timeless. Elegant. Beautiful. Kickass. God knows she kicked my ass many times!
She didn’t deserve to die. She deserved to live a long and happy life. No one deserves to die. However we have no choice, no say in the matter. Dying is not optional. It is mandatory. It is part of the cycle of life.
We all will die, but not everyone will live. Not fully. We live half-lives. We live in fear, afraid to take risks. Afraid of being hurt, left, abandoned, or rejected. So most people do not become the person they could have become.
Anjou knew how to live. She lived fully and took risks. Lots of them. She was bold, daring, sometimes controversial. She could get angry and had no trouble expressing it. She was loving, kind, and compassionate. Most of all, she lived life to the full and left nothing undone. When she died, she was complete. She had said everything she needed to say to all the people she needed to say it to.
Most people barely live and never say the things they need to say to the people they care about the most. They are incomplete and leave with all these loose ends. Anjou had no loose ends.
A simple “I love you” is not enough. Yes, it is a start for some people. However, what would happen if you could genuinely express yourself and all your emotions? What would you say and to whom would you say it?
Anjou embraced emotion. All of them; Good, bad, and ugly. At times, she could be like a hurricane. She was a breath of fresh air. A gentle breeze. A soothing sage. A muse of possibilities, she would always see and encourage people to embrace their potential. She had a unique way of cutting through the clutter and empowering people.
When she walked through the door, you knew it, felt it. The feeling in the room changed when she was present, and when she left. She knew how to dress in a way that expressed all of her. The inside showed on the outside.
She taught me how to love. To be bold. To be me. She encouraged me to go for my dreams, to give to myself. She believed in me. When people would fuck with me, she was there to defend, protect, to fight for what was right.
Some partners bring out the worst of each other. They have negative synergy. For Anjou and I, we brought out the best in each other. We had positive synergy.
Our partnership didn’t come easy. We worked for it. We made it important and worked on it daily. Anything worth having is worth working on and paying the price for.
Oh how quickly the years pass.
Physicists say that time is nonlinear. We experience its passage as a linear passing. However, the past, present, and future all coexist at the same time. This concept is difficult to wrap one’s head around. No one knows for sure what happens to us when we die. What we know for certain is that our physical bodies expire. The person we were, no longer exists. All that is left are memories and a timeless spirit.
I believe that the spirit is eternal and that each of us has a spirit that is a fragment of the undivided great spirit or whole. Most of us are so fixated on what we see with our eyes, that we cannot see anything that has no form. How can you see things with no physical form? Look for their effects. You cannot see spirit, but you can observe people’s essence and their response.
Loved ones of people who have died often report feeling their presence. Yes, this could be a memory or a reflex. Or it could be the loved one has a connection that transcends space and time, thus making it easy to tune into them.
I am grateful for the opportunity to start over with a new life, a new relationship with Victoria Dior Wang, and a new family that includes “Aunty Anjou” in our lives. As I write this, it is 3:00 am, and my youngest daughter, Vera Chanel, woke up and came to look for me. She asked me what I was doing? I answered that I am writing about Aunty Anjou. She asked where she is? I said she has died and is no longer here. She nodded her head and said oooh!
Then my eldest daughter, Coco Angelina, came out and they both are now sleeping on the couch while I write this… I can’t recall the last time they both slept on the couch while I write. Children are often more sensitive and tuned in than adults!
Sometimes when I lead seminars or small intimate groups, I will feel a presence and know about something connected to what we are discussing. I have learned to follow this feeling, to trust, and to run with it. So far, the results have been magical.
I look forward to many more years of magic, sharing, and infusing my daughters with the essence of Anjou!
Thank you, Anjou.